Hi there,
Oh, what a rollercoaster June turned out to be!
I’m really sorry I couldn’t publish last month, and honestly, it wasn’t entirely my fault. The website ran into some technical issues, and for a while, I couldn’t even access the backend to upload anything. That alone was frustrating, especially because June is my birth month. Everything is supposed to go right in your birth month, isn’t it?
Then, just as the site came back up, I found myself completely buried in a paper that’s due soon. I couldn’t focus on anything else; my brain was fully locked into that one task. You know how it gets.
Well… life happens.
The good news is I’m almost done with that paper now, and I can finally start getting back into my flow. And so, here we are. It’s July, and we keep moving forward.
So, lately, as I travel along in my research, I keep coming back to a truth that many experienced PhD students rarely talk about openly. And maybe that’s what this space is for – to talk about the parts of the PhD journey that often go unspoken, especially the personal side of things. For me, I see this blog as not all just about sharing academic insights. There are many blogs that do that already, actually. It’s about the real-life journey that runs alongside the research; the emotional, mental, and identity shifts that come with doing a PhD later in life. At least, that’s how it’s been for me.
And that brings me back to this truth I’ve been thinking about lately. Perhaps there are others like me on this. It is this idea of pursuing a PhD in midlife which isn’t just about changing careers or earning a new degree. For many of us, it means letting go, at least for a while, of a well-established professional life. It means stepping into a completely new way of being. And that can feel confusing, even disorienting, as you try to make sense of who you were, who you are now, and who you’re becoming.
Dropping It All And Watching Life Pass By
For over 25 years, I lived and breathed my work as an educator, literacy advocate, publisher, and thought leader. My days were filled with various collaborations with educators, writers, educational institutions and organisations. I led teams, published books, mentored aspiring authors, spoke on media platforms, and much more. It was a purposeful, impactful, and high-momentum chapter of my life, all of which continue to fuel my journey, even now in this quieter, more reflective season.
In reality, pursuing a PhD wasn’t a departure from that life. It is an extension of my love for teaching and learning.
However, it was not an easy task to step away from the roles and structures that had long defined me. It took deliberate effort and still does.
Now, as a full-time student, I’ve come to fully understand just how rigorous and demanding doctoral research really is. It’s intense. It’s unrelenting. And it often leaves very little space for the kind of expansive, creative work I once did with ease. There are reading lists to get through, academic papers to write, and a constant demand for deep cognitive engagement. And honestly, trying to take on anything major outside of this right now would feel like a distraction. And that is not because those things aren’t important, but because the demands of the PhD require a different kind of focus.
One of the biggest shifts in this academic chapter has been the pause it’s placed on my entrepreneurial life. For years, I thrived as what many would call an edupreneur; working at the crossroads of education, innovation, and business. I was used to creating platforms, launching initiatives, and building programmes with vision and agility.
Part of it, honestly, comes from my restless spirit. I like to be in motion, to see ideas come to life. But now, that part of me feels a little distant. Not gone, but quiet. On pause. At least, for now.
Meanwhile, the world outside academia doesn’t slow down.
My professional networks are buzzing with new businesses, book launches, award recognitions, and growing platforms. And here I am, surrounded by theoretical frameworks and stacks of research, watching the world of action, leadership, and visible achievement spin on without me.
At times, it feels like life is happening elsewhere. Like I’ve pressed pause while everything else plays on.
But maybe… just maybe… this too is part of the story.
A quieter chapter.
A different kind of momentum. One that might just shape the next wave of my contribution and impact.
The Unspoken Tensions of Midlife Academia
So, there’s a quiet tug-of-war I carry with me.
On one hand, I genuinely love what I’m researching and the PhD journey itself: the history of books, ancient writing forms, and how they continue to shape contemporary publishing. It’s deeply fulfilling work, and I’m grateful for the chance to do it.
But on the other hand, some days feel like I’ve pressed pause on the part of me that once led, created, and built with momentum, and that’s not always easy to sit with.
So, how do I deal with all of this?
Let me share a few things I do when that tension feels heavy; things that have helped me hold onto myself in the middle of it all. If you’re in a similar place, maybe one or two of them will speak to you too.
- If you’re running a business or organisation, hand it over to someone you trust.
One of the most important decisions I made before starting my PhD was to ensure that our organisation wouldn’t fall apart in my absence. I co-founded it with my husband fourteen years ago in Nigeria, and thankfully, he’s been able to take the lead while I take this academic detour. Without that handover, I wouldn’t be able to focus fully on my studies. Give yourself permission to step back and set up structures that allow you to do so. - Remind yourself that this is part of your leadership story, not a break from it.
Doing a PhD isn’t “time away” from who you are – it’s a deepening of it. The skills, insights, and knowledge you’re building now will strengthen your future work, both inside and outside academia. So take advantage of the meaningful opportunities you have now to grow in new ways – they’re part of the leadership story you’re still writing. - Give yourself grace.
It’s natural to feel like you’re lagging behind when people around you are launching, leading, and achieving. But your timeline is yours, and that’s more than okay. The work you’re doing now is preparing you in quiet, powerful ways for the next season of your life. Enjoy the journey. - Build supportive relationships, both academically and emotionally.
Don’t do this journey alone. Be active in your PhD community by attending research groups sessions, joining writing circles, or collaborating on events. And just as importantly, surround yourself with people who truly get your experience: fellow mature students, academic mentors, or online groups where you can share honestly and feel supported. - Look for purposeful ways to engage within your research area.
Getting involved in things like conference planning, giving workshops, or facilitating seminars related to my topic has helped me stay mentally active and connected. These opportunities let me contribute meaningfully without pulling me away from my core focus. - Treat your research centre like your office.
As a PhD student, especially in the humanities, there’s no rule saying I have to leave home to work. But I’ve chosen to make the research centre my regular workspace. Walking in each time gives me structure and routine, and I’ve found that I’m far more productive in that environment. It feels like I’m “going to work” and that shift in mindset has been a game-changer for me. - Stay a little bit visible.
It’s easy to feel like you’ve disappeared during your PhD. But small, manageable visibility, like posting occasional updates on social media, writing blog posts, or presenting at conferences, helps you stay connected to your broader mission and audience. You do not need to participate in activities that could distract you from your PhD work. You can focus on topics and endeavours that align with your research and, if your time, energy and focus allow, engage with areas you’re passionate about. The key is to stay present in a way that still supports your purpose. - Keep a place to capture future ideas.
I keep both a notebook and a digital folder where I jot down ideas; books I want to write, projects I’d love to start, and collaborations I’ll revisit once I’ve completed the PhD. It helps me stay creatively alive, even when I don’t have time to act on those ideas just yet. - It’s only a matter of time.
The PhD journey may feel long while you’re in it, but it will be over sooner than you expect. And when it is, you’ll come out on the other side with a broader perspective, sharpened skills, and greater clarity about what you can do in academia, industry, or an entirely new direction. The developmental activities you were able to maximise during this time, which can be research, writing, teaching, collaboration, or analysis, will only expand your options. When done right, pursuing a PhD is never a lost opportunity. For me, it’s an investment in how I show up in the world next.
I hope this helps you remember that you are not slipping behind or alone if you are focusing on the responsibilities of a PhD over your existing life and leadership before the PhD.
Simply said, the present moment is a distinct kind of time in your life that is moulding you in ways that will become clearer as time goes on.
Have faith in the process, make room for the aspects of yourself that aren’t “in motion” at the moment, and trust that this inward effort will eventually greatly influence your external work.
I am rooting for you.
Your mature PhD supporter,
Adeola Eze
